After Lindsay Lohan in “I know who killed me”, it’s now a monkey!
This case is named after Lindsay lohan’s similarity in situation in one of her infamous movie.
In a descending order of supremacy, this is a call for all Tonickers, Humans, Animal lovers of all kinds (Only homosapiens), Animal Lovers (from a distance), Animal lovers (Only someone else’s), Animal rescuers and supporters of earthlings. We say, beware. In a plush office of Malad west, we found a monkey gagged and hung by its tail.
Ruthless, as the crime was, the monkey owner is totally outraged and demands special investigation force to highlight this case. Asking around the crime, this is what people who were questioned had to say.
The Chief Operating Officer, Mr. Samir Asher, who was called this afternoon to throw some light on the suspected said, “Don’t you know the rules here? Everyone who works here is innocent.”
Mr. Sudish Balan, the business director said in his usual spring-summer tone and southern-Texas drawl: “I wish it was me, you see, never killed a monkey with a punch, seriously, but I’m not”.
Chief Executive Officer, Chetan Asher, a respected and senior thoughtful mind, only gave us looks through his fashionable horn-rimmed spectacles, much like Rita Hayworth from Gilda in 1946, saying, “me?”
Troubled times are definitely in and investigators still don’t have a clue. We interviewed Paras Joshi, 
a young budding Google ad-words acknowledged tonicker, aspiring to open goggle, as an alternative to google. According to him the incident was merely, “bahut funny tha, must watch”, a typical proto-copy of the interviews taken outside a cinema hall by TV channels like Zoom.
Futuristic Divya Nair, a budding writer/would be politician states that, “This is an open threat to human kind. Monkeys are considered to be our forefathers and whoever did this wants to say that they can get the human race by the collar, starting right from its roots.”
Happy go lucky, Shawn d’Souza, a writer and ‘critical client handling’ specialist just shrugged his shoulders in the shaggy style saying, “Wasn’t me”.
Surprisingly, a cynic named, Roy, told us that, “No-body killed it. It just hung itself, by looking at where the world is going. Look at its happy face”.
We saw a bunch of hang-outs, trying to grab the camera too, with no clear perspective or motif. One even tried to pose like he is pulling the monkey-in-distress down, only to have a memento of this frightful incident, we have asked our camera man to edit that part out of sheer anger.
We will support this investigation from our heart. Till then, anonymous from News, Tonic.
